My cute wee ennui

Yeah…I’ve got my brain full of ick…and I just can’t shake it today.

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I’m not feelin’ up to snuff.

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I’ve got crap on my brain…like my idiotic country and allowing people to vote have trouble figuring out ketchup bottles.

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I’m feelin’ seriously bummed out.

I’ve got some sort of ennui/angsty/yeasty thing happening.

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I wish I could pinpoint it too.  There are lots of good candidates!

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These clowns…

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This clown…

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Leaders of all sorts…

Now here’s another layer of the onion for you.  It’s not just external sources which are getting to me…it’s internal as well.  Ennui and angst cannot just be manifested internally from external sources…right?

There’s got to be something internal to myself that’s lacking.

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So let’s make a list of things…stuff which I feel is wrong on our wee blue dot (Earth) right now:

  • Global warming/climate change
  • Chemicals leaching into all sorts of shit
  • Bees, man…what about the bees!
  • The US educational system – not that it’s missing.
    • More so that millions seemed to have missed civics & ethics classes
  • Politicians should be caned – but this is not new…Rome probably had it worse
  • Entertainment is insulting to the point of pain
  • Technology is really getting in the way of people communicating and touching
  • War…everywhere
  • The Ice Capades – I stole this from Carlin…so there

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But the world doesn’t utterly stink.  So let’s make another list of why the world is kinda’ cool:

  • Dogs – ’cause, dogs…you know…dogs!
    • And not little dogs…you know, not the ones you trip over
  • A fresh apple with no pesticides nor worms in ’em
  • Soccer and hockey!
  • Fit girls in bikinis!
    • Ok…fine…fit dudes in Speedos
  • Music – all kinds
  • Peace and quiet
  • New York City & Los Angeles – sorry Chicago…too many murders, you’re off the list!
  • WB Yeats, Mark Twain, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Studs Terkel, JK Rolwing and comic books
  • Black Cherry Chocolate Chip Ice Cream from Greaters – don’t knock it!

So that’s a good list.

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And you can see the conundrum of my plight…ok…a plight.  WTF is a plight?  Well…this is a plight:

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Me…I got issues to deal with.

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No…issues.

Anyway, how can you look up to the great stuff and see the worthwhile thing that life can be?  Well, it’s hard.  It’s a struggle.

And that’s where I find a bit of comfort.  If I see life as a struggle, if I see (and feel) that it seems to be a tough day, it’s MY CHOICE to struggle against this weight.

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And that’s where I feel better, not great…but better.  I use my competitiveness to say “screw this…screw you…I ain’t gonna’ let your stupid shit get me down.”

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Damn…I really get freaked out by the Ice Capades.

But it’s a struggle.  It’s not easy.  It’s not something which modern pharma can cure…nor would I want it to.

So I’ll struggle and I’ll use the struggle as some sort of inspiration.  And I can’t spend my way out of this.

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So I’m going to struggle on…I’m going to soldier on.  I’m going to play soccer, love my kids and wife, pet my dog and listen to tunes.  I’m going to save the bees where I can and I’m going to make my way the best I can.

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When I see bullshit…I’ll call it.

Turn off you phone…get your butt outside and give the internet a rest.

I’ll see you out there.

–TPS

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