You’re really not that special

You’re SO unique!  Only to yourself and your mom…nobody else cares.

I’m all about being up and and not into being out but semi into being down (with it!).

I hope you don’t get the advert on this:

I know this made the rounds a while back…but it’s so true.  Take a listen.  Hmmm…who does this sound like?

Yes you ARE snookums!  You are the best BABY every.  There’s NOBODY who’s a better baby than you are!

Except this one:

And this one:

And this one:

Ok…you’re probably better than this one:

But you know she’d insist she’s up for mother of the year.  Don’t worry…she’s American.  We build ’em thick, tatted and stupid down here!

But this is the problem…although there are a few outliers here and there, everybody and their brother would SWEAR that they (or their shitty kids) are special and ready for their own show on the Disney Channel.

Whoever gave these twats their own show should be beaten.

Ahem…back to the point.  I would like to point out that the only people who get famous these days are people who do stupid shit.

There are HUNDREDS of videos on YouTube dedicated to these mutants!

This is why they created The Darwin Awards.

Yes…stupid people have now become the default go to vehicle for us to vent our frustrations on how lame our lives are.  Now, not even the STUPID people are exceptional.  They are the norm.

In fact, calling those people “stupid people” is an insult to stupid people.  There are whole herds of people, usually fame seeking Americans, whose entire reason for being is to get on TV for…wait for it…BEING FUCKING STUPID PEOPLE!

I only need one example to prove my point:

Travel back in time to murder their parents…please

HOLY SHIT!  I love my anonymity.  I love being The Professional Scold because I don’t have to show my UGLY mug.

Am I guilty as the next of seeking fame?  NO…I don’t want fame.  I want a soapbox.  I want a megaphone and a place to vent.  I want THAT!

Do I want a place to show off my abs?

From the bottom of my heart…truly.  Even IF I had the abs to show off, I have the FUCKING SENSE TO KEEP MY SHIRT ON!  Christ o’ freakin’ mighty.  This is what we’ve come to?  This is the height of American culture?

And you can bet your bottom stinkin’ dollar that for each member of that TOOL show there were 200 which were rejected.

Can you imagine being a REJECT for the Jersey Shore show?

Am I doing my superior dance?  Yes.

Am I better than these people?  Yes.


Because I have an education.  And after my abs fail and after my hair falls out…at least I’ll have my brain and my education.

And that’s good.

Unless I get some sort of crazy BPA poisoning from WalMart plasticwear.

Like this guy…not exactly masculine…not exactly not cool.  But thoughtful, insightful and a positive presence on the planet.  In our herky jerky world in which everybody is trying to out do one another, isn’t it nice to have someone who’s NOT going to challenge you on each point?  Isn’t it pleasant to find someone who is happy just to be themselves?

I tell ya…THAT is a rarity.  THAT is unique.  That is a welcome relief from our high pressure lives.

If you ever find me trying out for a reality show you have my permission to punch me in the face.



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