Name this place!

Ha-merica…the BE-UTIFUL!…and the BOTTLE ROCKETS IN THE AIR and we like the BRAVES!

I wish I knew where I am…it all looks the same to me.

The family and I recently took a trip to NW Michigan…uh…here

Which is pretty cool.  Huge sand dunes, Lake Michigan, Petosky stones.  All nifty and swell, right?

The part that stunk is that the wife became ill.  Pretty ill, in fact.  So much so that we had to go into a larger town and grab some meds at the local pharmacy.  However, we DID NOT go to a local pharmacy.  We went to Ride-Aid!  Or Walgreens, or CVS or some shit like that.  In fact we went somewhere near here:

Where is this?  Well…duh…it says so in the search bar.  Traverse City, MI.  And it’s nothing more than strip malls, chain box stores and shit food that you could get at any other town in the US.

The US has turned into the land of Cheesy Poofs!

'Cause you are boring and you suck.

It used to be cool…and different!  For instance, when you went to St. Augustine, Florida…you KNEW you were in somewhere different:

Or, Cincinnati, Ohio has an amazing number of Gingerbread houses:

But now…it’s disgusting.  It’s McMansions and all sorts of stupid shit:

Good LORD is that hideous.  Who designed that POS?  Unreal.

And before you call me a freakin’ snob:

I just want to say that we (Americans) used to live WITHIN our means.  We used to be cool with having what we needed and then, perhaps, just a cool toy.  Maybe it was a nice watch, or even a motorcycle.  For the ladies it might be a really nice pair of shoes or a something really sexy.

But even Miss Lake (above) still has the appearance of someone who, perhaps, might live within her means.  Sure, she’ll tear your head off if you get too near, but such is the price of beauty.

But there are no more Veronica Lakes…there are no more people in the US who want to live a simple life.  We just want what everybody else has, which has homogenized everything.  We’re boring, single-digit flatlanders.  The only thing which makes us unique is the same thing which we put on YouTube to make fun of others.  We don’t tolerate differences any more.


And this has made us all the weaker.  I long for the day when each part of the country can have it’s own Ale81

I want to go to another part of the country and be surprised by their cuisine, their uniqueness.  I want to go to a place where we’re not assholes any more.

I think the US can be better than we are…and we can be more than the assholes we usually are.

Well…most of us.



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